Saturday, May 30, 2009

There Are NO Bad Pizzas

We believe that any establishment who dares to mix flour, water, egg and a little salt to form a dough, top it with sauce, cheese and an assortment of nicely chopped ingredients cannot fail. There are NO bad fresh pizzas. There are pies that might not live up to our expectations. But even the weakest of finds can still be a delight, even cold for breakfast the following morning.

We are not out to disparage any pizza makers. If we find the steaming offering to be less than desired, we hope that our comments will be looked at as constructive, rather than destructive. If our taste buds were not happy on an initial visit, we promise to return in six months and give the establishment a second chance to wow our buds.

Our evaluations will attempt to be objective, that is why we will always start with a pepperoni, sausage and black olive pizza. (This is based on my 8-year-old daughter's preference.) A truly empirical study must have its benchmark, and that is ours. Although, depending on the size of our expedition team, we may be ordering a larger selection of topping combinations or house specialty pizzas.

We'll be examining the flavor and texture of the dough and crust. Sauce samples will be requested from the kitchen. With our finely calibrated eyeballs, we will gauge the quantity of cheese and check it for gooey elasticity. The game breaker could be - the sausage. Brown morsels of greasy spiced meats will be masticated slowly, seeking to find hidden flavors that are only produced by exceptional sausage recipes.

Another requirement for out research - the pizza must be eaten dine-in. No cardboard shall touch our specimens. Ambiance of the pie shop will be absorbed and noted. Staff, service, and the overall customer experience will be jotted into our pizza journal. And we will check the restrooms!

We don't care if you have a thousand pie shops across the universe. We are here today at your joint in Sin City and we want PIZZA! We hope it's good. Actually, we hope it is the Grail. The Holy Grail of Las Vegas Pizza.

Posted by Roger Blazic

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